I’m going to share how to not be resentful by protecting my joy and setting loving boundaries. But first, a review of part 1 (read the full post >>>here<<<).
Last year, I shared how I am rarely resentful. Not when I am called in to work when someone calls out. Not when my husband goes on a trip without me. Not when I feel my efforts in my career go unnoticed. The reasons, after some thought and reflection, seem to be due to gratitude and abundant joy. I never think – I have to. I think – I get to. This instills a sense of agency – that it is my privilege to joyfully choose to do something, rather than being forced.
So how do boundaries banish resentment and how are boundaries loving?
Loving Boundaries Protect My Joy
While I joyfully choose to do things, I also choose NOT to do things just as as often. Setting boundaries give me a framework for what I will choose to do and what I will choose NOT to do, so that I can protect my energy and time. Then, when I do choose to give my {protected and there abundant} time and energy, it’s from a place of joy, not obligation. Without them, I could easily fall into a cycle of resentment, feeling drained by people or situations that take more than I’m willing to give. My boundaries allow me to give freely while preserving my peace. Here are 3 boundaries that keep me joyful.
- Saying No Without Guilt: I’ve learned that every “yes” to someone else can mean a “no” to myself or my family. By saying no to undesired commitments or unrealistic expectations, I free up my time for what truly matters—whether it’s quality time with my kids or a quiet moment to recharge. I also believe in people’s amazing capabilities to figure things out without me. If I remove myself from an environment, it will allow someone else’s talent to shine. That’s a win-win!
- Protecting My Mental Space: I choose not to let negativity live rent-free in my mind. Whether it’s a misunderstanding with a friend or an internet troll’s comment, I set a boundary by not engaging or dwelling on it. I distract myself, ignore, and assume good intent. I also know I am not tied to someone closing one door on me, because I can make many doors open, so I just move on. This keeps my mental energy focused on what brings me joy.
- Creating Space for Rest: I intentionally schedule time for rest and self-care, even if it means delegating tasks or saying no to something that feels urgent. I exercise. I eat well (lots of proteins, natural foods, water, some treats). I tinker with my hobbies. I journal and write. And now I’m working on prioritizing sleep. I create a diverse foundation of joyful moments and give myself protected time for those things. This boundary ensures I’m not running on empty, which makes me a better parent, partner, and co-worker.
Why Boundaries Are Loving
Boundaries aren’t just about saying no; they’re about saying yes to what matters most. They allow me to show up fully and joyfully for the people and things I care about. Here’s how boundaries are loving for everyone involved:
- For Me: Boundaries ensure I don’t overextend myself, which allows me to give generously without resentment. They’re a form of self-care that helps me maintain my joy and energy.
- For Others: Boundaries set clear expectations, which prevents misunderstandings or unspoken frustrations. When I communicate my limits lovingly, it creates healthier relationships and reduces conflict.
- For Relationships: Boundaries allow others to feel respected because they know my actions come from a place of intention, not obligation. It’s empowering for both sides to know that my yes is genuine.
Gratitude and Abundance: The Foundation
Boundaries are only part of the equation; they work hand-in-hand with a mindset of gratitude. When I choose to view life through the lens of “I get to” instead of “I have to,” everything feels lighter. I get to spend time with my kids, even when it’s challenging. I get to go to work, even when others call out sick. This shift keeps me focused on the positives, and my boundaries ensure I’m not stretched too thin to appreciate them.
Your Turn to Choose Joy
Are you ready to protect your joy and live with intention? Start by identifying one boundary that could give you more peace. It could be as simple as saying no to one unnecessary commitment this week or taking five minutes each evening to clear your mental space. Boundaries aren’t just limits; they’re acts of love for yourself and the people who matter most. Here’s to a life filled with joy and balance—one loving boundary at a time!
Not sure where to start with creating a boundary? Let’s chat. Message me with the form below to connect.